i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
