I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
