His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
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some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
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I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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