Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
