4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
