this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
