she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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