you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
God I need to hump something, right now.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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