Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
