you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Randomize
