I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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