He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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