what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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