I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
