I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
