Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
