I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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