Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
