FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
