You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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