and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
