apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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