Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize