ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
