you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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