I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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