Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
