My room smells like vodka and shame
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
