drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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