careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
it was like eating out sand paper
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
