Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
