I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
