don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
