you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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