if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
