new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
