actually, I'm a sock model
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
