Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize