He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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