Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Randomize