Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Let's paint friendship bongs
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard