Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Well I just put wine in my tea
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
