why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
