remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
