Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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