Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
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Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
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I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
God I need to hump something, right now.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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