if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
