Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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