what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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