I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
