I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
