Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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