i think my tv is drunk
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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