i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
