At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
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It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
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As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science