He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
