just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Randomize
