I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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