I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
