Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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