Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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