6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
