The brown eye won't let me do that either.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
two words...techno handjob
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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