I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Randomize
