I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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