According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
