there was a trapeze. enough said
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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