So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
50% drunk capacity currently
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize
